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Our Mindset Matters

How we think about our lives can either HELP us or HURT us. Our Mindset Matters!

Negative thoughts can erupt emotions that prevent us from doing what we want to do. By monitoring our mindsets we can invite in unlimited possibilities.

Today I am going to talk about 3 aspects in life that that affect all of us. How we think about these areas can either HELP us or HURT us.

  1. Self Worth

  2. Our Past

  3. Our Future; the Unknown


Self worth comes from 1 thing: THE BELIEF that you are worthy. So whether you think you can or you can’t you are right. When we depend on approval from others to validate our worth we are creating a very unstable foundation. We can tell if we are seeking approval if we are afraid of being judged and rejected. Wayne Dyer states that we seek approval because it places responsibility for our feelings on others, if were feeling lousy, hurt or depressed, it’s because someone else doesn’t approve of us. When we believe we need others approval it allows us to stay stagnant, if they don’t approve, we don’t have to change.

Seeking approval can also produce a “poor me” mindset , which results in a poor self image, and allows us to do nothing to make our situation better.


  • Thank others for their feedback. Someone is merely providing data on our behavior that will help us get at the truth. Thanking someone puts an end to the approval seeking behavior.

  • What others say and do does not define YOU!

  • Allow others to be responsible for how they feel and don’t make it your job to make everyone satisfied.

  • Scripture tells us that we are to focus on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, THINK about these things. We are too focus on the gifts that are internal not on what is external.

  • Buddha said, “It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways.” You may be thinking, “I can’t control my thoughts, if a thought comes, it comes.” To that I say, you may not be able to stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can certainly stop him from building a nest in your hair.

Next is our past.


When describing ourselves, we often look to our history to provide answers for ourselves. The danger is when we only look to the past we are not getting a full picture of what is really possible. As human we tend to live by lables that are placed upon us at a very young age. When we try something new and it is met with disapproval we begin to say “I’m just not good at this” or allow others to guide our goals. Ultimately resulting in avoiding things that are uncomfortable, and by avoiding we never get better because getting better comes from practice. This usually sounds like: “That’s just me, I’ve always been that way.” The label became the reality.

Carol Dweck is a researcher at Stanford University terms this as a fixed mindset. Dweck is well–known for her work on “the fixed mindset vs. the growth mindset.” Dweck describes the difference between these two mindsets and how they impact our performance…In a fixed mindset we believe our basic abilities, our intelligence, our talents, are just fixed traits. However with a growth mindset we understand that our talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching, and persistence. —Carol Dweck, Stanford University

In short; how we talk about things will reinforce the reality in which we experience and live out.



The unknown is the source of all growth and excitement. People want to grow, but their fear of failure leads them to avoid the unknown. Wayne Dyer states that failure is someone else’s idea of how we should perform.

Yesterday I brought my son Avery who is 6 months to his first music class looking forward to seeing him share a few coos and smiles and in the end I left feeling inspired. The teacher embraced all of the children and parents in such a loving and gentle way. There was no such thing as “not musical” or “no rythym”; everyone had a beat and an idea, EVERYONE HAD MUSIC IN THEM. There was no one right way. He insisted that we all just BE OURSELVES and listen to the MUSIC WITHIN.

When we focus too much on the external and what others are doing around us or what society is telling us we must have or do to be deemed important or successful we lose our WILL from within. Scripture tells us to set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. To set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

In closing

I leave you with a quote from Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


When you change the way you look at things.

The things you look at change.

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